Well, Halloween is nearly over and with it dies any hope that it's going to get any warmer. All hope abandon ye who enter here. Oh well, this made me smile:


-Joe

I love stupid little diversions like this. Good times.

Check out the Roe interview and, if you're in the Twin Cities Nov 5 so you should check it out. Tell 'em Joe sent ya...

-Joe

Hear ye, hear ye, the latest, newest, ultra-funkiest Feature can finally be unveiled.


Regular visitors will be thrilled to see that this new Feature, um, features not only an in-depth interview with Mike, but also audio clips. Experience the joy of a Joe Mammy interview first hand. Can it get any better?

I didn't think so.

-Joe

So I made some roast beef tonight and when I was done, I took the left over scraps and gravy/aus jous/whatever and poured it over the Devil Pups food. Never, and I mean never, have I ever seen happier Devil Pups. I am the greatest pet owner ever!

At least for about five minutes.

The mystery Feature should be up shortly, and keep heart that no sooner than one is up, there's another one being hatched. Extra happy hellos to the folks from digg.com for dropping by. Make yourselves comfortable and enjoy the sights. Pull up a chair and enjoy a pint (or whatever particular measure of volume you'd prefer...)

And I almost forgot, Ungie (aka Platypus Man, aka Dust in the Wind...) has recently put up a little blog of amusements. I posted something of extra-classic proportions there (think Jedi slash film...) so check it out, send him some love and be sure to wipe your feet.

-Joe

Not now... ...but SOON!


- Rex

Here's an artist's rendering of the fearsome chap known as your beloved Joe. Subject has arms and is considered extremely delirious:

That's right, I've finally succumb to the whole "make a South Park character out of yourself" thing. I'm too old for this crap. Oh well, the chainmail looks kinda neat, no?

-Joe

I'm having a crappy day, but I found something pretty durn funny. To get the story check it out here and be amused. I've done some wacky covers in the day, but this one... well, it stands alone. I bow to this guy's superior whiteness.

I also had a little bit on Kari's blog that she turned into a full-fledged entry. Only go if you don't mind being reminded that not only is life unfair, but flips you the bird after it pees on you.

So, anyway, it's cold, rainy, windy and generally a poopy kinda day. I think I'll just find a cave and hibernate.

-Joe

Well, that was the suck. Can't feel too bad. I don't hate the Astros or anything, but now I could really care less about who wins. It's not like other years where at least I wanted someone to at least lose. Oh well.

Now the question is: what to do next? I've been watching 3-7 baseball games a week since April. It's like I've just broken up with my high-maintenance girlfriend, I don't know exactly what to do with nothing to do. Hopefully I'll get some more writing done (you can still pick up All Things Right and Beautiful in the Shop) or maybe start working on a new musical project (and, of course, lilies of the field is also available for your approval).

So, baseball fans who drift through from the Birdhouse, feel free to keep hanging out and enjoy the goodness that is Joe-Mammy.com and for everyone else, more of the same charming brilliance you've come to know and love.

-Joe

Well, we're down 2-0 or 3-2, depending on how you want to look at it, but it's early. Not much here, just an evening with the Devil Pups hoping that I won't need the Pepto for this one...



-Joe

So, I'm spending a nice quiet (for once) night in, hanging with the Devil Pups, currently watching the first bit of Full Metal Jacket. Watching R. Lee Ermey go apeshit on a bunch of hapless recruits never fails to bring a smile to my face.

"I will PT you all until you fucking die! I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!"

Anyway, I ran across this and for some reason it made me amused enough to put up here.

And while I'm thinking of it here's another little clue about our mystery Feature:

I don't know if you guys are baseball fans, or like the Cardinals but:


None of this namby-pamby launching fly balls into the box seats 320 feet away crap, no siree, off the freaking railroad track.

That's how it's done, kids. If you didn't see it, tune into Sportscenter or any place that shows sports highlights--you'll see it. I'm supposed to be sleeping now, but it ain't happening.

I did a happy dance tonight, and it was good.

-Joe

Ok, so I'm hanging out on the Birdhouse message board (it's a rare occurrence, but it's the playoffs, so we all do our bit...) and one of the users (one Mr. West123, to be exact) had one of the funniest quotes I've ever seen:

Fascinating observation by Thom Brennaman. "The Astros have never been to the World Series. In fact, there has never been a World Series game played in the largest state in this country."

That's true, Thom. There has never been a World Series game in Alaska.

Pure Gold.

Go Cards! Down but not out.

Of course if they lose, you'd best not e-mail me for a couple days, I'm likely to be cranky...

-Joe

So what has ol' Joe been up to? Well, I've been a workin' fool for one. I've also been a little pre-occupied with the playoffs (Go Cards!) and rounding up additional Features for you, my little snigglets. All are coming along well (well, the playoffs things was looking good in game one, since then, not as much...)

In either case, I have been thinking of all of you and, along those lines, here's something disturbing. Just in case you thought math and geometry were harmless pastimes, here's a little something that'll make you lock up the kids to protect them from its horrible dogma and occultic mysticism...

-Joe

I'm still mulling the idea of having a "Joe Mammy Presents" kinda collection of short stories and essays. To that end, here's a little bit o' happiness for your general consumption.

Every lie has the promise of "always" woven somewhere within its fabric...

"Maggie, seriously, how can you read this stuff?"

Maggie was getting ready for bed and only slightest glimpse of her bathrobe would dance in the doorway. "What are you talking about?"

"These horrible romance books you read - they're awful."

"And yet every night you manage to read a little bit more to complain about to me," she called back over the running water.

"You're a college-educated woman. When I met you, you were reading Proust."

"And you had hair, Harvey. But you don't hear me complaining."

"I can't do anything about my hair, but you're choosing to read this garbage."

"So are you."

"I'm not reading it!"

"Then how come last night you were critiquing the - how did you put it, 'contrived devices that brought Imelda and Franco to French Riviera'?"

"Well it must be obvious if I can pick up on how bad it is just by glimpsing at it."

"You know what, I haven't said anything, but I've noticed my bookmark's gotten moved more than once."

"I must have dropped it or--"

"And then I found it in the bathroom."

"Hey, I couldn't find my Sports Illustrated..."

"Yes, let's talk about substandard writing, shall we? If I read one more straight-faced comparison of football to war I think I'll go out of my head."

"Football is war!"

"And Imelda and Franco have a love that transcends everything, so just leave it alone."

Harvey took off his glasses irritably and rolled over on his side, facing away from the open door. He pulled the comforter over his shoulder and grumbled to himself "Besides, any idiot could tell the she belongs with Christian..."

-Joe

Well, I don't know what to think.

Well, I take that back, I know I think this is funny.

I'm just not sure what the point is... other than being funny, that is...

-Joe

Here's a little something from our extra-rockin' upcoming guest to Joe-Mammy.com. Do you know this voice?

Well, it's too early to give too many details, but a Feature has been lined up (and conducted for that matter) and should be out in about a month. Hopefully there'll be another one in the meantime (I'm working on it, trust me...) but as fans of ye ol' site should have noticed, they're getting better and better as time goes on. This latest one follows the trend is more in-depth and funny/real then its predecessors. Not to knock the previous interviews. In fact they're durn nifty if I say so my own self. Check 'em out. Love 'em and come back for more cuz more is a-comin'.

And buy stuff. Stuff helps keep the lil' dream alive for all good boys and girls.

-Joe

Hi kids, another busy week in the world of Joe. NLDS starts tomorrow and sure as the sun raises in the east and sets its miserable carcass in the west it's a day game (!?!) and I have to work. Stupid Major League Baseball schedulers.

I'm working on a couple Features for the future, but you should still check out the current selection (including a charming interview with the legendary John Lurie) and maybe pick up your very own copy of All Things Right and Beautiful or the NEP's lilies of the field. You'll be glad you did.

If that's not enough, here's a fun little puzzler for you try out. I beat it, can you?

-Joe