Well, I tried to leave a voice post for this but the system was down. Cards lost, but it was a beautiful day outside and a good ballgame. Like before you can check out my game diary at the Birdhouse. I'll throw up some pics soon...

-Joe

Clint Eastwood: 75 and still able to kick most peoples' ass.

The Legion o' Cool salutes you, Clint!

-Joe

P.S. Learn how to get down with yer bad self...

Sup homies? Busy, busy, busy here. So far things are going just fine, thank you but I should have more goodies for you all tomorrow. They shall be cool, oh yes.

And here's proof that while there's a little bit of Napoleon in each of us, some of us have a whole butt-load of him...

-Joe

There's a certain materialistic joy in kicking back, working on your laptop while "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" plays in the background. It's taken a few days but I'm finally getting the hang of this "vacation" thing. I'm reading for content (and pleasure) and finally getting caught up on a myriad of writing projects (by the way, check out the new and improved Birdhouse for more Cardinals news than you can shake a stick at plus a newish column by yours truly...)

I've also gotten started on a new novel. I learned my lesson from last time and that's all I'm gonna say about it (otherwise it's like I doom it to sit untouched in a corner of my hard drive for months on end...) other than so far I've got a good feeling about how it's starting out.

And now I've been distracted. Sorry about that. Um, I don't know what I was going to say.

How about that "American Idol"? Um, I'm so glad that one person won it instead of that other person. Cuz that person sings so much better and stuff.

Who am I kidding? I've never seen a single episode of that crappy show. I was watching the Cards whup the bejesus out of the Pirates last night and I couldn't be happier.

So there.

-Joe

In relation to the previous post (check out the Bruce Campbell Feature, btw) I've been officially linked and mentioned on the front page of Bruce-Campbell.com. I don't know what I think that's so cool, but it is cool. Whee!

-Joe

-Joe

I have no idea... none... of what to make of this.

Holy crap.

-Joe

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
--Martin Luther King, Jr.

If I leave here tomorrow

Would you still remember me?

For I must be traveling on, now,

'cause there's too many places I've got to see.

But, if I stayed here with you, girl,

Things just couldn't be the same.

'cause I'm as free as a bird now,

And this bird you can not change.

Lord knows, I can't change.

--Skynyrd! (Freebird... Freeeeebirrrrrd!)

Joe here. You might not know what prompts all this, but it's a good thing. It rules in fact. But before I'm overtaken by this mysterious glow, perhaps a couple more quotes:

Man is tormented by no greater anxiety than to find someone quickly to whom he can hand over that great gift of freedom with which the ill-fated creature is born.
--Fyodor Dostoyevksy

Free, do you call yourself? Then I would hear your ruling thought, and not merely that you have escaped from a yoke.

Are you one of those who had the right to escape from a yoke? Many a one has cast away his last worth when he has cast away his servitude.

Free from what? What does that matter to Zarathustra! But your fiery eyes should tell me: free for what?

--Friedrich Nietzsche

-Joe

So where is it?

I dunno.

But you promised a brush with Bruce-ness.

I know. It's coming.

We had our vacation planned around this.

Um, are the tickets refundable?

Well, yeah, but there's this big penalty for shifting dates.

Ah. Sorry about that. Why exactly do you center your vacation around an interview with Bruce Campbell?

...?

Sorry for asking. Listen, if you're just hanging out and waiting, you can check out the Shop for new nifty Bruce gear (as well as Joe-Mammy.com exclusives) and you can pre-order his new book which is charmingly titled "Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way"!

The kids have their water wings packed and mom's got the sunscreen. How much longer is this going to take?

I don't know. I'll check though, ok? Tell you what, you can always recheck classic Features like the interviews with Joe R Lansdale, Jamie Hyneman, the magically delicious Kari Byron, Larry Blamire and others.

*sighs* C'mon kids.

Don't be like that. It'll be fun. The interviews rule. And by the time you're finished with them, Bruce should be up. That'll be fun, right kids?

(kids) Yay! Bruce!



See, it'll all be fine. Now you all go on in and have a good time, alright?

We love you Mr Joe!

I know you do kids. I know you do...

-Joe

I'm taking the day off.

I'm older today.

Whoopety freaking doo.

In either case did I mention that our next Feature is going to be:


Well, just in case you missed it earlier, our next Feature is going to be:


Lots of things bouncing around the ol' noggin which usually is a bad sign for site updates but a good sign for prolific intensive writing. So there's that...

-Joe

There are two way to look at a lot of things.

Way #1) Why does life keep f*cking with me?

Way #2) I could really go for some pie right about now.

If I were hungry, way #2 would be much easier, but I will not succumb to option #1, no siree.

I could simply say that the Cards have lost three in a row and someone needs to take the blame and that, for some reason, hip-hop acts (plural--and who will not be named) seem to go out of their way to irritate me. Or that, frankly, life doesn't go the way I think it should nor as fast as it ought. But instead I will simply look in the mirror, take a deep breath and sing, sing, sing...

I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay. I sleep all night and I work all day.

MOUNTIES: He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees. I eat my lunch. I go to the lavatory. On Wednesdays I go shoppin' And have buttered scones for tea.

MOUNTIES: He cuts down trees. He eats his lunch. He goes to the lavatory. On Wednesdays he goes shopping And has buttered scones for tea. He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees. I skip and jump. I like to press wild flowers. I put on women's clothing And hang around in bars.

MOUNTIES: He cuts down trees. He skips and jumps. He likes to press wild flowers. He puts on women's clothing And hangs around in bars?!He's a lumberjack, and he's okay. He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees. I wear high heels, Suspendies, and a bra. I wish I'd been a girlie, Just like my dear Papa.

And there you have it--the guide to zen-like peace in one easy step. And in case you don't believe me I'm about to change font size to make my point:

You can't argue with that. Do you see how much larger it is than everything else? It's even bolded and centered. News doesn't come any bigger than that, I assure you. Tune in over the next coupla days and you too will be privy to the biggest bit of happiness out of Joe-Mammy.com in a right while.

-Joe

I'm not sleeping anymore. That's not a good thing for those of you keeping score. I keep telling myself that it's only temporary so here's hoping. That's my clever indirect way of saying that barring anything out of the ordinary that the little website of love her might be lagging a bit behind in the next couple of weeks.

Here's a little something for Christophe der Soul Stealer, but the rest of you can check it out, too.

-Joe

Okay you primitive screwheads, check this out.

Do I have any real news anymore? Probably not, but I'm working on it.

-Joe

Holy Shit.