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Ah, what a glorious time of year it is. And what glorious people about us. And what big teeth they have, grandmother. The better to floss with you, my dear...
Friday, October 01, 2004
I'm in a rare mood this evening. If I had to describe it, it would be part contemplative, part bemused and a good chunk mellow.
Now, I'm no big political guy, but I did manage to see about 2 minutes of the Big Presidential Debate Episode One: The Phantom Menace (basically during Milwaukee's at-bat's during the Cards rather unnerving loss at home...) and let me make some very basic observations:
1) If a candidate utters the words "global warming" everything afterwards is refuse. If anyone for one second believes any mainstream candidate gives two craps about "global warming" then there's a guy in South America with a jug of Kool-Aid with your name on it. And the fact they mention it at all means they are pandering to someone's minuscule political ideology that, as was mentioned before, they could give two craps about.
2) Hey, the Miss America Pageant got rid of the talent portion, perhaps the Debates should pick it up. Let's face it, you won't get a straight meaningful answer out of a beauty pageant contestant and you ain't a-gonna get much of one out of a politician. Might as well bust out the baton-twirling and trampoline jumping, at least then there will be another category to judge the candidates on, right? Perhaps next election we could add the evening wear and swimsuit categories (20% of the total score) and maybe a big production dance number to kick it off with. Hell, I'd watch it.
and
3) Everyone seems concerned about sending our troops mixed messages. For example, if we told them to blow up a building and kill everyone trying to protect it and then later told them to fix said building and then protect it... Wait, that came out wrong. Be pro-war or anti-war, but I seriously doubt that internal structure of the military will be thrown into confusion if a rich white man is elected to the office instead of, well, a rich white man. It's a bad argument. It's a silly argument. Silly like peeing into the wind. Silly and smelly and wet.
Anyway, I got that out of my system, now onto the other stuff. I've continued work on the as-yet-untitled sci-fi story. Maybe will even get it finished tonight. The finish line is in sight, in either case. It's been fun. It's nice to have things go well sometimes. I don't mind fighting through a chapter of something or a drum/bassline for a song or getting the dogs to do something I tell them to, but when it just kinda flows it's hard to beat. It kind of frames all the struggles and conflicts and frustrations really well. I may not have all the finer points of what I try to do nailed down, but I'm getting better and the fact that somethings are coming easier now is just proof that I'm learning to walk again. It's been a long time, and it's been ugly and bloody and bloody ugly, but it's starting to feel almost normal again.
Which brings me to the contemplative part (believe it or not, that last section was the mellow one with the debate thing being, by deduction, bemused...) I think I do this every fall, maybe it's the seasons, but I remember some of the people of my past, and usually one in particular. I think I pretty much hate her now, which is progress. Sometimes some people need to be hated, maybe not categorically, but there gets to be a point where ugliness is no longer endearing and selfishness stops being a mutual intoxication. That's almost poetic, ain't it? In either case, let us raise our glasses in remembrance of JLA (or JLS nowadays, I guess, or perhaps JLA-S, or should we just settle on WTF?) it was good, it was great, it was catastrophic in that Godzilla beating the hell out of Tokyo kinda way and, in the end, it was a past date coupon--trivial in its inception and obsolete by design.
To you JLA, go to hell and Godspeed.
-Joe
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
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| Bathroom humor.:: Joe | | 6:58 PM |
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Okay, I'm not one to require you, my beloved readers of happiness, to do too much work to enjoy the fruits of Joe-Mammy.com, but this one is going bounce you around a bit.
First off, you need to download this track and have it play in the background.
Got it? Good. Step two you need to check this out:
The full story is available here, but here's a redacted version:
DALLAS -- A teacher is on paid administrative leave after sending a first-grader home with feces in his backpack because the boy went to the bathroom on the classroom floor.
The teacher apparently was frustrated with the 6-year-old student's actions so wrapped up the waste and sent it home with the boy Tuesday along with a note, Dallas school district spokesman Donald Claxton said.
Now, perhaps this is why I shouldn't be a teacher, but I don't think this is so bad. Barring any serious emotional or mental problems, if little Johnny drops trou in my classroom and leaves a log, you bet your ass he's taking that home. Parents love putting stuff on the fridge that their kids make in school, right? Well bust out the magnets, cuz Junior's got a winner today. You can't tell me with a straight face that the little nose-wiper accidentally defecated in class... in the middle of the classroom... on the floor...
As much as I respect the audacity to show your displeasure with the system by sharing a bowel movement with the rest of your fellow man, there's a difference than, for example, me taking care of business to protest some thing or another--that's civil disobedience because I know I'm gonna get arrested and I don't care. But little Oliver DaFleur thinking that he doesn't like spelling one day and spreading the love, one loaf at a time--that's setting a precedence. I for one wouldn't want to get stuck behind him at McDonald's when he doesn't get the Happy Meal toy he wants.
Hey kiddo, words to live by:
Poop in the potty. Poop goes in the potty.
-Joe
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| Almost poetry #1:: Joe | | 7:36 AM |
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There is nothing funny.
There is nothing clever.
Except yogurt.
Funny, clever and delicious.
Mmmmm.
Yogurt.
-Joe
Sunday, September 26, 2004
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| Joe rules you... again.:: Joe | | 6:29 AM |
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I'm on a tear. Don't expect this many posts normally (as if you did) but I'm feeling particularly bouncy this evening. Had a swell evening hanging out with drunk people and checking out Chris' pad (everyone say "Hi Chris") and twas sweet. Now that would've been a night for most people, but not for me.
Well, not tonight at least.
Anyway, got home, watched "The Secret Adventures of Tom Thumb" (finally ran across the copy Platypus Man scammed for me...) the whole while an idea was brewing away. Did a little browsing and such and began work on a new short story--my first science fiction piece. So far I'm digging it (I know, I always say that at this stage...) it's funny and probably more than a little twisted. Picture HAL from "2001" meet Jean-Paul Sartre. Listened to the tracks for the new album ("Someone, Anyone" and "32nd Street Bandwagon" sound better with each listen...) while I worked on it. I'll spill more when it's closer to done. Not sure how long it will be, but probably one of the shorter ones.
What do you get when you cross an alternator with a gerbil? Find out in the next Feature--coming soon.
And finally, just a bit of an appreciation. I dig me the Over the Rhine. "Good Dog, Bad Dog" is easily on my top ten list of all time (top five, at that...) and they continue to just be amazing and cool without seeming to try. The most recent letter from Linford pretty much embodies why I like the band--clever, charming, sly, innocent and effortless all at once. I've tried to get them to do a Feature, with no luck yet, but who knows? Maybe someday. In the meantime, check out the Store for some quality OtR goodies. Or just buy it directly from them. They probably get more money for it that way.
In honor of the rockingness that is Over the Rhine, I've included my remix of the eternally helpful "Poopsmith Song" on the NEP site. Go to samples and check the remixes. Should be right there at the top.
-Joe
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