There are badasses and then there are Bad-Asses!. And above Bad-Asses! is an eschelon of Badass royalty--they are the badasses who taught badasses what it was to be a badass. Let us all bow and pay homage to the steely Bad-Assssssss who became not only a legend, but one of the greatest of all time. Happy Birthday wishes go out to the one, the only, Clint Eastwood.

-Joe

Alrighty, here's how things are shaping up:
Platypus Man took an impromptu vacation and as a result the Tess interview will be up probably next week (or this week, depending on what time it is now...) but trust me, 'tis worth the wait and greatly funktacular. It'll kick the behoolies outta ya.

The short story may be done this weekend--I know, I know, I swore on dear departed family member's final resting places that it would be done this weekend, but it spontaneously got longer on me. I'm doing my darndest to get it done so I won't be a liar for another week (not to mention, you know, actually having it done...) so here's hoping.

Not much with the tuneage. Some ideas rumbling about, but I hit some technical snags and apparently just missed the nice folks at tech support for the weekend, so at least I have a valid excuse, right?

Anyway, I'm writing away (not just here, but on the short story... honest!) but took a break to put a glimmer of hope in your little hearts as well making an opportunity to make a sandwich and maybe some soup. I know, you're asking yourself how much more glamorous ol' Joe's life could be, aren't you? Well, like I always say, "Believe in yourself and always reach for your dreams and you too can be a lame moral from an afterschool special..."

Mmmmmm, sandwiches...

-Joe

Ok, an update on promises:

Short story WILL be done this weekend. At least in draft form. I'm actually supposed to be working on it now, but I've found frequent breaks help keep things fresh, or maybe they just help me put them off until the next day when I'm supposedly more "fresh" (perhaps even in an old-school hip-hop kinda way...)

I've begun doing some more work on the album. Just some basic loops and stuff at this point, but with more gear coming in the next week, hopefully it'll give me a little more flexibility to get this thing together. Also thinking about getting into some more remixing sort of stuff, so, if you're an artist looking to turn a beloved song into a guinea pig for my tinkering, drop me a line.

No word on the novel, and it's taking a back burner until I hear back from some of the places I've sent it. However, feel free to check it out at leisure and be amazed at the wonder that is Dinnertime.

As far as general site stuff, the Tess interview should be up this weekend as well as an overdue update to the fiction page. In related news, it looks as my idea for an official Joe-Mammy.com pen pal was quite possibly ill-conceived. If you're interested drop a line and state your qualifications to be the PenPal of an entire website. Or just say hi, if you'd like.

Other than that, I think everything is more or less on schedule for my eventual domination of the entire planet (give or take 30 years...) so to quote my boy Zim:
I shall rule you all with an iron fist... Obey the fist!

-Joe

Okay, in my eternal curiousity about how other folks blog their merry hearts and minds away I did a little trolling for nifty things. What I found is either the stupidist thing ever since SimStapler or one of the most amusing fritter games ever. I'll let you make up your own mind, but be warned, it'll consume you like a bad case of the prickly heat...
Rawk ON!

-Joe











All hail Wileyrock!

I'm so stoked about the soon-to-be-published interview with Tess Wiley (Wileyrock forever!) that I've committed the greatest act of hubris this side of, well, um, Hubrisville. I've requested an interview with the President...

No, not of the local Rotary club, but of the United Freaking States of America. Here's the text:
Hello Mr President (and staff member stuck reading this)
I wanted to invite you to do an e-mail interview with Joe-Mammy.com. It’s a non-political website devoted to my own personal work as well as individuals and topics that I find to be fascinating. Most interviews are 10-15 questions long that I e-mail to you that you can respond to at your leisure. Past interviews can be seen at http://www.joe-mammy.com/pages/features/features.htm. C’mon, it’s an election year, I know my state has one electoral vote, but it could be a fun way to break out of the usual mean-spirited politicing that everyone is already getting sick of (can November come soon enough?)

Thank you for your time and consideration

Come, my fellow Americans (and whatever nationalities drop by, you are equal in the eyes of Joe) let's petition the government together in hopes of the Joe-Mammy.com interview of George W Bush. Let freedom ring!
(and Wileyrock forever again!)

-Joe

Couldn't let the event pass. Bob Dylan is another year older (and deeper in debt, ohhhhhh sixteen tons and whaddya get...) Much love to the Man. (In a completely heterosexual way, I'd like to add...)

We now return you to your normal program, already in progress...

-Joe

Ahhh, the weekend has finished and so has another weekend at work. Twas an ugly, bloody thing, but I've emerged on the other side only a little the worse for wear. Updates: Short story isn't done. Haven't done anything on it since last time. Sorry. I suck.
Second: the Joe-Mammy.com official PenPal is open running well. I've got a number of promising folks looking to join the Legion o' Cool and use some of ol' Joe's webspace to share/rant/communicate and otherwise speak their minds. Stay tuned.
Third: I can confirm the subject of this month's feature. I've gotta say that I'm highly jazzed about it--it was a great interview with a great subject. This month's featured interviewee is none other than the fabulous Ms. Tess Wiley (late of Sixpence None the Richer and veteran solo artist) Those of you unfamiliar with her (or unfamiliar with her since her Sixpence days) have been missing out. She recently released her second solo album and it's a beaut. Check back soon in Features. Tis greatly sweet.

Alright, now for the part where I promise other things: the short story will be done this week if I have to super glue my butt to this chair to make it so. I'm also trying to get a hold of a couple bits o' musical goodness from the lovable Platypus Man that we worked on together so you never know, something rocking this way may come. Um, what else? Am I forgetting something? Anyone? You in the back? Hmmmm.
Ah, yes, Bubba Ho-Tep is out this week. And there was much rejoicing.
I'm going to bed now. I think you'll all like me better rested...
-Joe

Just a quick entry for you faithful few out there. So far the weekend has been deep with the suck. Two more days to go, at that. Anyway, a couple updates:

First, a new story should be showing up on the fiction page soon (actually, I thought it would've been up by now...) It's another short 'un, called "A Fairy Tale": a charming tale for all ages about the merciless machinery of life. Great for bedtime!

Second, this month's feature is still in the works. I'm greatly stoked about it and waiting on the final reply before I can get started on it. Let us do the dance of joy. *does dance of joy*

Tertiary, I'm working on finding an Official(r) Joe-Mammy.com penpal. I've got a few candidates from all over the world all vying for an opportunity to be the Official penpal of a website. Who'd a thunk it? I'll post more when I know more.

Finally, some work has been done on the short story and I'd still like it to be done by this weekend, but I'm not sure how it'll work out. Depends on a lot on how much worse this weekend gets, but it's looking solid so far, for what it's worth.

Welp, see you kids on the other side...
-Joe

...












Burn in hell, WB...
Take "Fear Factor" with you...
and Madonna...
and Barry Bonds...
actually, I have a list. When you go, give me a call and I'll fax it to you...

-Joe

Hey diddely-oh there campers, Ranger Joe back again to give you some updates for the ol' Mammystone National Park Interpretive Center. But first it saddens Ranger Joe to a) be sick, b) be sick and watching the Cardinals lose in the 9th c) be sick, seeing the Cards lose and have so insanely little actual progress to report (please choose one, show work where required...)

The answer is (b). If you checked answer (b) go ahead and give yerself a big gold star for the day and then look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of person keeps big gold stars just lying around the house. While it's true that being sick has limited the short story's development and no new music has been done, Ranger Joe has managed a bit of a coup d'état for this month's upcoming Feature. Of course, as you all well know, Ranger Joe gets excited about just about anything that wanders through Mammystone, but this should be a particularly nifty one. Stay tuned.

One person who isn't the subject of Joe-Mammy.com interview (at least, not yet...) is Nine Inch Nails head mucky-muck Trent Reznor. Recently Reznor's site, nin.com went through a makeover including responses by Mr Happy himself to your questions. Ever the optimist, Ranger Joe happily asked the following question (possibly paraphrased as Ranger Joe didn't write it down somewhere else at the time...):
Would you be willing to do an interview for Joe-Mammy.com, or if not, would you at least be willing to tell me who would win in a fight between you and Ricky Martin?

Sadly, no response was to be heard. Undaunted, Ranger Joe has compiled a list of responses to the latter question that would have been deemed "acceptable."
1) I'd beat him like he were Marilyn Manson
2) Violence is not a solution. We need to work through our differences and appreciate our diversity as a nation. That being said, I'd whup him like he stole something.
3) Ricky might win cuz he scratches and pulls hair like a girl
4) I've been in the ring for a lot of years and have seen a lot of young punks trying to make a name for themselves by talking a lot of crap. Now I'm addressing this to Ricky Martin right now [looks into camera intensely] You may have the intercontinental championship belt, Ricky Martin. You may have a couple of low life thugs like Marc Anthony and Enrique Iglesias protecting you in the ring, but when you come to Wrestlemania XXXLMNOP justice will be mine, revenge will be mine. Because, in Wrestlemania your past conquests won't mean anything and your little toadies can't protect you, Ricky. That's right Ricky Martin, I'm calling you into the Steel Cage. There will be no one to help you, no way out. And when I meet you in the Steel Cage you will tremble in fear, for only then, after I've left you broken and bloody, will you realize that none can survive the wrath of... Rez-Nor!

And before I forget, please, no feeding the bears...

-Ranger Joe

Alrighty, I don't want to die anymore. Pretty vicious run-in with the ol' sinuses yesterday, but thankfully the worst has passed (leaving only the refreshing scent of Brut) In either case, I am back and more or less happy to be so. While refreshing, vacations--especially the variety where no personal work is actually done--seem to be largely counterproductive if over extended. As it stands, my little break from the world seemed to be just about the right length (horrible illness on the return notwithstanding).

Along those lines, however, no writing was accomplished, no progress on any long term projects made and, aside from a promising snippet between myself and Ungeziefer, no musical headway was made. But I did sleep a lot and got to eat at a variety of tasty botique-style resturaunts otherwise unavailable to me. So what does all this mean, you ask? It means I have a lot of catch-up work to do. I'm setting an informal deadline for the short story for the end of next week and beginning of June as a start date for the rest of lilies of the field. Of course these are informal at best and are likely to be disposed of at my first convenience, but it does effectively mark the beginning of guilt for not getting more accomplished. So, there's that...

Finally, a parting tongue in cheek dedication to a certain Playtpus:
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
-Sir Winston Churchill

-Joe

Well, ol' Joe is back in his ancestoral stomping grounds just in time to be sick. Phlegm and mucus are a formidable pairing, I must admit. More of an update lata...

-Joe

Yup, I'm here in Paradise City, where the grass is green and the girls are, well, slightly above average (oh won't you please take me ho-o-ome...) Greetings from the Twin Cities. Yer faithful guide through the Inferno of life (ie, Joe...) is currently kicking back (with my mind on my money and my money on my mind) and enjoying a few days in Minneapolis. Possibly this evening there may be some collaboratin' betweens yours truly and the eternally plucky Platypus Man in his musical war bunker, but we'll see.

As springs starts to dig in a bit I was amused to realize that there tend to be two kinds of college guys around here (and a couple hybrids, but like most hybrids, I suspect they're sterile...): guys who wear khaki shorts and guys who wear jeans. Perhaps that's a pretty significant portion of the population at large (I'm a jeans guy...) but it just seems odd that without fail jeans or khaki shorts. No slacks, or full-length khakis, no jean cutoffs, the only variation you see really is the cross-breed jean shorts--and that in itself is rare. Tis might odd to my way of thinking.

Anyhoo, no new work has been performed, although I think my sleep pattern has righted itself after 36-48 hours of near-misses with REM. Still plan to get some work done on the oft-promised short story. Heck, might even get the bad boy done, but I promise nothing. Other than that, enjoying the sheer mellowness of the situation. Come, breathe deeply with me and enjoy the happy fun-time freedom that is not being at work.

Ahhhhhhh.
-Joe

Well my happy minions, Joe is soon to be on his merry way to Vacationland. Yup, Joe is finally taking a bit of R&R and will be gracing the Twin Cities (Minneapolis, St Paul for the uninitiated...) for a few glorious days. Does that mean I've forsaken you? Not at all, I'll still be updating here faithfully. It just may have a more "cosmopolitan" flavor to the midwestern buffoonery.

In other news, a bit more work got done on the short story. Either the break will give me time to finish it or a reason to put it off longer. I guess we'll see. Also, watch for an update on the fiction page soon. Haven't made up my mind exactly what will be appearing, but it'll be rockin' no doubt. I'm still working on finding a subject for the next interview for the Features section, but as soon as I learn/figure out something rest assured I'll make coy unrevealing references to it.

Other than that, Invader Zim Vol 1 is out Tuesday. Buy many copies. Joe commands it.

Hasta
-Joe

This is actually the second time I've tried to write this. The first time was unceremoniously interrupted by a drive failure. Whee! Fortunately most everything was salvaged or backed up--not that I'm sure you really care, but anyway.

And it was about time for a nice obviously obligatory Floyd reference, so there it is. The Features is up and doing quite nicely, thank you. I'd like to welcome the browsers from other sites checking out the interviews and invite you all to stay and poke around a bit. I'm sure there's something that'll be worth checking back on. I've floated several requests out there for other interviews and if any of 'em come through it'll continue to be pretty rockin'. Now for the less than stellar news:

I haven't done a goshdurn thing lately--no story work, no music, a few web-related things, but nothing substantial. Maybe that'll change today and tomorrow, but I wouldn't hold your breath. If the mood strikes, rest assured it'll happen, but I'm feeling short on both inspiration and sleep as of late and I suspect working on the latter may help the former.

Other stuff: Cards inched over .500 again last night. T'was a fun game, especially the end--now if only movies could have decent twists like that. Avs were sent home. I'd be more worked up, but I hadn't seen the last three games anyway, something about going down 0-3 that kinda diminishes some of the immediacy and impact of the whole situation. And tonight is the 3rd-to-last episode of Angel. I've mentioned it before, but it bears repeating: the WB is waist deep in the suck.

I'm not sure they've actually ever seen an episode of "7th Heaven" or "Charmed" or "One Tree Hill" or any of the other incredibly lame shows they broadcast with such pride. Even "Gilmore Girls" which, sissy boy that it may make me, I enjoyed quite a bit for its dry with and dialogue has quickly and quietly sunk into a quagmire of tired melodrama and stale kitsch. "Smallville" once the neatest, niftiest star in the WB lineup as begun to stagnate in the ratings, which doesn't matter to me because aside from the magically delicious Kristin Kreuk it's been yet another unwatchable entry in the WB's marathon of suck. I've followed the "Save Angel" campaigns with hope, but a degree of dubiousness. The WB has succeeded in continuing to make horrible television in spite of its occasional dumb-luck with good shows. Like DiMaggio's 56 straight, some records don't end for a loooooong time. Congratulations WB network, your continuing quest to lower the bar to subterranean levels is right on schedule.

-Joe

PS- Blame the Spanish!
(from Compfused.com)

Well, here's the weekend outlook (since the weekend is basically 90% over):

Only "Godsend" left to see this weekend, so far it hasn't been as bad as I was afraid of. Of course "Mean Girls" and "The Laws of Attraction" haven't really inspired me to find a cure for cancer either, but I'll take what I can get. I may actually (!) get some work done on the short story this evening, but it depends on how everything else shapes up. I do need to pick up some groceries, for instance and for some reason such pragmatic pursuits tend to drive every creative urge out of me. Of course it just might be frozen food section has the effect on everyone, but I digress.

Features is up and running! Yes, yes, hold your mountain of applause because the second interview is on the way. Ray Mileur of the Birdhouse is the latest visitor to Joe Mammy's little corner of web tastiness. In the meantime, the Chris Null interview is right spiffy in it's own right and available for your consumption right here.

The Cardinals won today (2-1 so far in the series) and the Avs continue to be their own little happy rally monkeys, so it's been a good sports weekend. The only thing that would top it, or at least add to the rockin'-ness of it would be the Lakers getting schooled by a bunch of 5th graders on national TV.

Anyway, ol' Joe continues to beat the proverbial bushes to round up some new quality interviews and the like for ya'll. If you have any suggestions, thoughts or comments, fire 'em off. On a practical note, if you do have a suggestion for an interview, also include contact information or some sort of referral info for it. Telling me to interview the President, while likely a pretty sweet endeavor for this humble site, is (and I'm not trying to be negative here) may be beyond our realistic grasp at this point in the game. That being said, if you've got someone or something that you think would be interesting and interested, we're always open.

Lates all,
-Joe